a blog focused on modest fashion, and my journey in becoming a fashionable, modest girl
Anonymous asked: Do you think a maxi dress could be worn with a crop top?
sure, it sounds like a fun combo!
I am not someone that categorizes clothes into immodest and modest categories (except for like booty shorts and other items of clothing designed to sexualize the person wearing them). Modesty is different for everyone, depending on the way you carry yourself, your body type etc. For me, it’s a personal lifestyle choice and I don’t condemn or demean people who’s clothes I would consider immodest if I wore them
Anonymous asked: Any recommendations (fashion tips/blogs/blogger/shops) :) ?
I’ll start with my general shopping/fashion tips. I buy my clothes in regular stores (places like gap, forever 21, american eagle, target etc) and sometimes online (mainly modcloth). It is important that I didn’t change my sense of style or my fashion sense to dress modestly, I swear, most people probably don’t see a big change because I still dress like me. I like to wear lots of cardigans, jeans, cropped pants, floral print dress and skirts and scarves are my #1 accessory. I established for myself the following guidelines:
- Shoulders must be covered (nothing totally strapless) and when wearing tank tops, my bra straps must never be showing.
- Bras should never be visible, including from the back or side
- My skirts must come down past my finger tips, my shorts must come down to my thumbs (when placing my arms at my side)
- Cleavage can’t be seen even when I bend down so that I touch my knees
- Any squatting/kneeling/arm-raising etc (that I would do on a day to day basis like picking up something I dropped or waving at a friend etc) must not reveal my midriff or any underwear
- If I have to pull up or pull down a garment continuously so it meets these rules, I won’t wear it
Other than that, I wear what I like. Fashion is really up to oneself. Modesty really isn’t a fashion ‘type’ but a lifestyle. It’s a lifestyle based on acknowledging dignity, worth, mystery and, in my case, being able to recognize that I am more than an attractive body. It is a way for me to step away from the beauty competition that so often occurs between women and appreciate myself in my own body, not looking to be validated by someone else in my own worth.
Ultimately, the best help I have received in my journey has been the subtle examples from the people I have decided to surround myself with, a closer look as to how society and media influences how we view ourselves and thus how we act, and the incredible support of my boyfriend (as corny as that sounds)
I hope this wasn’t too long and I hope it helps you :):)
on wanting to wear a bikini
Last week, my roommates were packing for spring break. And like all ‘normal’ college students, they were going to the beach with a bunch of friends. They were talking (screaming) to each other across the apartment asking if this or that was ‘beachy’ enough, or worthy to be worn to the clubs. They were also, in normal girl fashion, showing each other (and me, because I’m good friends with both of them) their bathing suits because they were cute and whatnot. Now I gave up bikinis when I decided to be modest, but I still own them. (Deciding what to do with my old immodest clothing has been a problem really). So I let them borrow some of my things because I was spending my spring break at home. They commented on how some of my suits so were so cute (because, I mean, they are, they have cute prints) etc and in those moments, going through my swimwear drawer, I desperately wanted to be in a bikini just once more.
I bought this super cute (ok, borderline sexy) VS bikini on sale last winter and I WILL NEVER WEAR IT. And that kinda kills me. Just a little. I feel like I had the confidence in myself, in my body shape and my skin, to wear an attention-grabbing bikini (it’s a zebra-print bandeau) and I had to suddenly find this new confidence to be different from everyone else and wear (my still super cute) one-pieces. I feel like the automatic stigma is that I’m not ok with my body, that I’m not confident and that I’m ashamed. Or that I’m a prude judging all my bikini-wearing friends. Neither of which is true! And just darn society. Silly, annoying, lying, manipulating society.
And I know being confident and accepting etc is much BETTER conveyed in how one carries oneself. But how does I know if I’m doing that? Like I can tell when I look good in whatever I’m wearing, that’s easy, I just need a mirror. But how do I know if I’m acting confident? or more importantly, how do I stop caring what opinions people might make of me based on how I dress? Which is SO FUNDAMENTAL to this whole process. It’s really the reason why it’s so important to me. It is what has enabled me to recognize the toxic effects that harboring insecurities has given me and what freedom really means, and how badly I want it.
This has constantly been a journey is discovering me, in discovering my voice and discovering what I stand for and where I can grow. And I love that, it’s really so beautiful and so powerful.
But back to the point. I wanted to desperately make an exception in my modesty and go back to wearing bikinis. Partially to fit in, partially to feel confident, partially to show the body I think is beautiful and worthy, and partially because I just like how I look in them. Like really, I do. I no longer like how I look in low-cut tops or short-short. But somehow those bikinis are still great to me. (Maybe it’s because I also like how I look in my underwear. That’s when I look at myself and I’m best able to say that I was born beautiful and see all my folds and bumps and still appreciate myself as a whole. And I want to feel that way all the time.)
Thankfully, I went all summer without attending a beach or a pool in a bathing suit. However, over the winter, it was this really bizarre experience where my mom wore her first bikini in agesssss (after being persuaded/supported by my father) and I didn’t wear one since I had started in to do so high school.
So there you go. That’s my life. Sometimes I want to end this. Sometimes it’s really hard. But it would feel like such a betrayal, really, to what I have come to believe and stand for. And that’s the truth of it all, that I believe in this lifestyle and want to continue and won’t stop.
(If you have questions about why I remain against bikinis, or anything else, please feel free to ask me)
Long time no see
I realize I’ve been ignoring this blog for a while. It honestly got to be too much to keep up with it and school and then the longer I left it, the easier it was to leave it. I’ll be honestly trying to work on this more in the coming future (helloooo spring break) and hopefully also blogging more. We’ll see where this goes, and I know that your encouragement, even though I may have neglected to post anything and yet somehow still gaining followers, has been a big motivation to get back into this. We’ll see.
Also, I updated by theme. I think it’s cute hehe